Archive for March, 2009

Unconscious desires

Posted in Orientation, Romance, Sexuality on March 18, 2009 by alterisego

I’ve been overexamining my desires so much that I don’t have the slightest idea anymore what I’m into or even what my sexual orientation is. But, just now, I was awoken rudely from a sex dream by my alarm clock, so I had the opportunity to find out. And it wasn’t at all what I would have expected: it was a very vanilla, romantic, lesbian love story. It involved a lot of cuddling and slow-dancing with the woman who was the object of my affections, who I don’t think was anyone in real life. It was weird. It’s very much thrown me for a loop, so much was I expecting rough sex to make up the sum of my unconscious desire, and also so much was I doubting both my womanness and at the same time my queerness. I mean, I guess this dream isn’t the sum total of my sexual preferences, but it was a startling indication.