Archive for the Responses Category

Search terms

Posted in Kink, Responses on February 11, 2008 by alterisego

I’m endlessly fascinated with what my stats turn up. (Of course, now that I’m discussing this, it’s gonna skew my stats some more by reiterating the terms I get already.)

Interestingly enough, I think my most popular overall search term is “victorian porn” or some variation thereof, which has actually surprised me: I thought I was the only one with the more-than-passing interest in really vintage erotica.

I get a lot of searches for “non-consensual”, and that makes me feel a bit guilty. I’m obviously not promoting non-consensual activity at all, I just wrote this one post a while back that had the phrase “non-consensual” in the title. But I guess it makes me feel awkward that there are people searching for that. When I was first becoming aware of my, erm, sexual preferences, the discovery of the “safe, sane, consensual” maxim became very important to me. It meant that I was more normal and wholesome than, say, the Marquis de Sade. I guess connection of my preferences with any form of non-consensuality still kind of makes me shiver.

I’ve gotten a fair number of searches involving some variation on “bondage”, and even a couple for my own “alterisego” name — which certainly swells my ego a bit.

And here are some other funny ones, for your entertainment:

“women with cloth off showing pee hole”
“porn is boring”
“plural of dominatrix” <– that was very satisfying given this post.

And today I got “how to stop being masochist”, which made me sad and reminded me what I need to keep remembering, that I’m lucky in terms of my ability to deal with my identity.


Just a little unfortunate…

Posted in Responses on December 5, 2007 by alterisego

I feel like one of the search terms leading to my posts should not be “non consensual bdsm”. That’s just a tad unnerving.

Why Not Therapy?

Posted in Gender, Responses with tags , , , , on November 25, 2007 by alterisego

Dr. Steve made the following comment on my last post:

Hello ‘Newbie’. A search of your site suggests that the word ‘therapy’ han’t come up yet. How come? The right therapist (who’s not out to cure you or even that concerned about addressing orgasm directly) can do wonders. A general loosening up and enlivening of enthusiasm, liveliness, etc. may have great spinoff effects sexually. Freud used the word libido to cover it all if you recall.

I think about counseling/therapy/psychology/that sort of thing on and off. Mostly, I think it would be great to have someone real to talk to about a lot of issues that I can’t really share with my friends. One of the reasons I started this blog is to talk about those issues. But the chances of finding a counselor I can actually talk to are so slim. How many therapists out there are smart, slightly older people willing to talk to a smart (if I do say so myself) young adult? Most people my parents’ age automatically dismiss anything I have to say. How many therapists are going to be okay with my sexual orientation — not just bisexuality, but polyamorous tendencies, kinkiness, and all? What middle-aged man or woman would take seriously a young woman (who got mistaken for a young man today) who looks the counselor in the eye and says, “I think one of the reasons I’m having difficulty masturbating is because with my strong submissive tendencies, I find it difficult to be responsible for my own sexual pleasure”? I mean, honestly. To the vanilla world, I sound like a nutcase, and whatever treatment I got wouldn’t be the treatment I need. Besides, I don’t think a therapist could tell me anything new. If all I want is someone to talk to, it’s probably not worth the money.

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